Reflection

Photo credits: mayydiaries.blogspot.com
This will definitely be my most private post here to date. But I guess it shows I am human after all. I chose this photo because it reminds me that no matter what happens, there will always be a time where I find true inner happiness and peace. That no matter what storms or hurricanes life has put me through alone, I will one day be able to say I found home in terms of the physical place, the work, the life, the people, the one person. I have found that feeling a rare few times for the past years of my life. Today, I will blog about one of it.

This particular place in the photo is at Raffles Marina in Singapore. Tucked away quite nicely in the far end of the island country. Dad's workplace is nearby and I remember when I worked with him, he would bring me there for lunch on certain occasions. I would take walks by myself after lunch while he chatted with Uncle James. I walked the length, right to edge of the water. I stood where I stood, capturing the moment I felt at home. At one with myself and at peace with the water. I have always been happiest with water. On cruises, being with marine life, being in the water, being near water.

The place also held quite a bit of happy memories of tennis camps I had there. We stayed in the beautiful rooms, spent our nights in the arcade after a long day of physical training and playing tennis. I was pushed and challenged. I was surrounded with laughter and discipline. This is definitely one place in the world I will never trade anything for.

I think friends around me can tell things are not 100% right with me. For those of you who have asked after me, who showed me the concern you have for me, I want you to know that I am fine. I will be. I know you want to know what happened. There is really no cause for worrying. But for now, allow me to do what I do best when faced with such situations. I bury them under the persian carpet of my heart and mind. I lock things up in the cold storage in deep-freeze. I sweep over the episode as if it didn't happen at all. Like gluing a chapter of a book together. I throw myself into work, and surrounding myself with all your laughter and smiles. So please, when you see me, smile and laugh and let me know the world hasn't stop just because my heart stopped beating. I am especially thankful for Jeremy and Steven, the jolly jokers who make my everyday. Widi, for being my protective brother even though he has no clue. Sis for being her kaypoh self but I know it's her way of showing she cares. Aik Leng, for being the incurable romantic and my back-up plan. Charlene, Shiyu, Li Jia and Anna for girlfriend support. Even Sam, Janis and Joanne who may not have a clue how important it is for me to see that I do have a regular life now and I am me, nothing's changed.

All I want in the world is to see the people I love be happy. As for my own, I hope it will be well-deserved when it finds me.