hiatus

good sunday to everyone! i just wanted to leave a note saying i will not be blogging for a while, taking a short hiatus from social media. a leisure sunday spent alone and with a bff in between, my mind is clearer. i'm thankful and grateful for a crazy year. thanks for allowing me to share. i wish everyone a great end to 2011. merry christmas and a happy new year!

What is your Drunk Characteristic?

It is undeniable I like my alcohol. It is undeniable this has been inherited from my paternal side. I had my first taste when I was about five, when Daddy let me have Tiger Beer.

I have seen many under the influence of alcohol, from high to tipsy to absolutely overboard and incomprehensible. Till today, I am just understanding my limits and my chracteristics. I am thankful for my genes where I have a high tolerance. Just keep me to one/two varieties in the night and I shall remain sane. If I gave myself at least eight (tried and tested) combinations on an empty stomach, I am afraid I will have to puke in spite of the awareness. But that will be binge drinking and in all my tender years, its been only two times. First time, my 21st birthday where I have had cocktails, wine and then 13 shots and then mixers. Second time, hungry and have had about 10 different kinds of drinks in the night.

I have seen grown men high and drunk, things they do and say. I have seen young men drunk and unreasonable. I have seen violence and sadness and extreme happiness. There were overshare of friendliness and too much 'love' expressed. The raunchy dances, the embarassing confessions, the overdose of drugs. Me, no one really can comprehend because people I drink with have remarked all differently.

I am quiet and private and as per normal to most these days. Talkative and at ease with few. But the truth is, all these seemed relative because of my Gemini qualities. Friends who knew me since my sec school/jc days, I am no different from the loud personality they all knew me as. Friends who knew me in uni, I was the friendly but private person. I always keep to whatever image the group knew me as, but intrinsically, a tweet by ZodiacFacts says it all.

"@ZodiacFacts: For a sign that shares everything often obsessively #Gemini's living hell is being left in the dark."

I am too in control and manipulative at whatever state of my mind I am in. I wished I wasn't. That I could truthfully say I was drunk and I spouted nonsense. Truth is, the mind is too calculative for its own good.

Goodbye to You

Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say

[Chorus]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

[Chorus]

Oh yeah
It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

[Chorus]

And when the stars fall I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

Shoestopper #56

Alright, let's get back to some form of familiar territory for the blog. I like to write but I just havent had time to sit down and do some. Usually its because Im busy supressing my emotions and thoughts and not allowing myself to feel much. Its safer that way, not vulnerable.

So shoes! That always cheer me up...

I saw this pair of vintage inspired wedges on a facebook page a few minutes after a girl uploaded her album. I left a comment right away and am so glad I got it.

They are pretty tall to say the least but what really surprised me when I got them was their weight! So light! Very easy on the feet but they are best to walk in if you know the places you go do not have cobblestones and such. A little like walking on stilts.

Photos credits: mayydiaries.blogspot.com

The colours are so easy to match and they are my first pair of shoes from Zu, the premier shoe brand under the Betts family. I absolutely adore them even if one may argue the similarity between it and my Aldo ones. Well, tough. I have this already and I LOVE IT. Its different and a whole lot lighter.

Pretty special!

Till my next shoe-stopping experience, Mayy xo

words

Scared and scarred to say the least.
Both guarded and protective,
Cynical and paranoid.
Blame no one, because these are choices.

Choices born out of experiences
Decisions made in situations
Pride and selfish reasons,
short-term relief but ultimately destructive.

Words and feelings shared may be manipulated and manipulative.
Actions prove otherwise but,
often neglected or turned a blind eye upon.
Who is to judge, but the words uttered?

For these words will often be taken upon face value,
intended for certain reasons by author
whether it reflect the truth or otherwise.
What is it that one holds so dear?
Perhaps the truth may destroy,
or be brave and take a leap of faith.

As the rain falls,
teardrops washed away,
words spoken fade in memory
prose written saved for time
but actions live on.

Who is to know what the future holds?
But are you willing to write your own destiny,
act upon those promises,
live to no regrets,
having done what your heart desired and
accept the consequences after?

Loved ones may be lost,
Things held dear may be lost,
but author knows the courage and institution upheld.
Yet is anyone willing to take the risks?

C'est la vie
Easier said than done.

Pros and Cons

Pros and Cons
Two sides to a coin
Both points of argument
Proposition and Opposition
Debate the life out of a decision...

I've gone through some,
and then some.
There were such difficult ones,
yet there were those which come easily from the heart.

I'm facing one of my toughest mind twisters yet
I've gone through nearly all possibilities
Every day, every night
Every single waking moment
The thoughts and arguments preoccupy my head and heart

Extenuating circumstances had only been made clear
To me, after an important step had been taken.
Cognitive dissonance once again absailed and take hold of me.

I can convince myself and anyone on both sides
One day I feel I was all wrong
Nightfall comes, I think fate has dealt me a hand
All I can do is to be appreciative,
and make the best of things.

Emotional and rational
Money and all things material may have a hold in my head
Playing up a certain argument.
My heart puts up one of its toughest fights so far,
making everything so conflicted.

Please, all I ask for is courage and clarity.
Because deep down, I understand me.
I know the answer.
Above all, the qualities I value in life more than the others.
They all point to one direction,
the direction fate has dealt.

I shall only need acceptance.

Bob Marley

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.”
― Bob Marley

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

“No-one but ourselves can free our minds.”
― Bob Marley

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”
― Bob Marley

“Your Worst Enemy Could Be Your Best Friend & Your Best Friend Your Worst Enemy”
― Bob Marley

“Some Will Hate You Pretend They Love You Now Then Behind They Try To Eliminate You”
― Bob Marley

Today, Mayy...

Today, Mayy has had an upside down topsy turvy day. I dont like the cause of it but I had a good day starting from 2am till 7pm. Alot of tears and words were involved but perhaps, I learn something from everything. I now begin to doubt a lot of things. But I do know my habit of bottling things and sweeping it under the carpet will one day threaten my sanity and friendships with people I care about.

What can I do? What should I do? I dont know.

I want to get away thats what I want. Running away will not solve problems, but I guess temporarily it helps in healing. Dont be surprised if one day, I go missing for a while. But I would want to make sure no one worries or shall I even be contactable. No threats here, just a fair warning...

A Little Note from Mayy...

M's Food Find #66

Last post for the night! Let's end on a sweet note to kickstart the week! On one adventurous afternoon, conincidentally it was on a Monday, I decided to check out this little French cafe tucked away in the suburb. It has rave reviews and a friend who worked nearby it kept saying how good it was. Gotta see for myself!

It is called Choux Cafe in the Swanbourne suburb, near Claremont Quarters. It is a good thirty minute drive for me but is it worth it? Let the photos speak for themselves...

Sweet section
Savoury pies and quiches...

This chocolate tart looks to-die-for and I was so tempted to get the whole chunk. If not for that sparkly macaron on it...



Other little pastries and biscuits like madelines for sale.

The front seating area, it costs more to dine in than to take-away..

On the left is the chocolate tart, the right is the pistachio chocolate gateau cake.


I absolutely LOVED this. and I am usually not a pistachio person..

The inside was amazingly crumbly and soft and slight sweetness, amazing paired with the chocolate coating.
I got all 12 flavours for myself..

Theres a back seating area.. I personally prefer the shopfront.

The chocolate tart was not all that perfect compared to my other cake. Perhaps I had too high expectations because in all fairness, it was not too bad really.


Photos credits: mayydiaries.blogspot.com

Now having tasted all of them over the span of two weeks, yes I was very disciplined, my favourite flavours were the lemon, coffee, colourful and orange sesame seed. I am not usually a fan of lemon but boy, this macaron flavour makes my tastebuds tingle and I would travel there just for it again! That's saying a whole lot! On the whole, it was made near perfection, light and fluffy with a nice moist bit encased. Oh, I could have one every day, or three...

Till my next food find, Mayy xo